Extreme Guilt

I had many problems Dealing with Guilt,I had Extreme reactions to things, I wanted to be liked and i did everything i could to make friends and fit in,I was always looking for Comfort,Food gave me Comfort when I was told by my Mother she may Die Soon.I was Eleven,I Gained alot of weight watching The BIG VALLEY and STAR TREK After school.

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My Changed World EXTREMES

I was a Troubled kid in Retrospect
I was easily influenced by other people and for some reason i thought they knew more about things than I did.When I look back I think TRUST was a big factor.I trusted everyones advice more than thinking through the situation
myself.In this World Trusting others simply does not work, Most of the people I trusted have turned on me,I think it is human nature to find advantage over others to best serve ones self.Everyone is out for number one.I thought We Were ALL AS ONE.I had no Personal Identity,I believed
what I did affected everyone and What they did affected me So why should they Hurt me, They would only be hurting Themselves.

MY CHANGED WORLD CHILDHOOD

I Was born November 29th 1961
at 9:31 am at St. Josephs Hospital
MILWAUKEE WI. I was the Second
Child born to Irene and Richard
Richter.I was Always a happy kid
and I Drove my Parents Crazy.I was always Testing my Environment and Expanding my Boundries.I was brought up in the
Television Era so I got alot of Information from what I saw on T.V. I began Thinking Life was made up of HALF HOUR Episodes and everything would turn out OK in the End,Quickly.Most of my Time was sitting in Front of the TV and
Eating.This began to take its Toll on
My weight problem.

My Changed World MisTrust

The Prison System and the People
Who work within are trapped in a World that is Based on Mistrust.
Normal Questions are reguarded as some kind of ploy or a type of Criminal Behavior.When I arrived
all I did was ask Questions,I was confused because I was Honestly
asking for a Type of Logical Answer,
I was Answered in Riddles and Back talk.I was Looked at as the NEEDY one and I tryed to CHANGE and CONTROL my NEW WORLD.They said I was a MASTER MANIPULATOR.I Told them we all try to manipulate our surroundings,
But I might be Right.I became the one that had the Advice when people had Questions.They even came from other Institutions and Sought me out.Very Strange to Have an Inmate come from 300 Miles up north and ask me If I Was
RICHTER.

My Changed World (short timer)

It was very Interesting But of course Disturbing to see What happens to people when they are
confined for a length of Time.The system keeps them moving so they are not Too comfortable.And it also
keeps them from planning any escapes or starting criminal ties.I was a VISITOR (short timer) I was also Very Refreshing to some and a Terrible Reminder of Freedom to others.Talking to guys who Murdered their Boss or Sold Drugs
or Raped an old lady,Not nice guys
Spending 20 years and hoping to get out in another 5, I was doing 2
and getting out in 6 mos.What did I have to complain about?In Prison
you dont really know what they did unless you ask,and even then they could be untruthful,at DACC
you knew it was non- violent.Places
like FOX LAKE you are around guys who have been in for 30 years and have earned the Minimum Classification Starting at SUPER MAX in the beginning,and now at a MINIMUM facility with me who
remembers Freedom as yesterday.
I Was a REAL PAIN IN THE ASS for those guys.I was Threatened Many times But Put on the You DONT HAVE THE GUTS TO HARM ME LOOK.Ya Right BLUFFING ALL the time.WOLFY threatened to Put a SHOVEL TO MY HEAD.He Murdered
Two Guys already so he was a dangerous guy.

My Changed World TACTIC

The Program is based on FEAR,it works through Intimidation and Threats.There are TEN group members who spy on one another
and hold each other accountable on things as silly as spilled coffee.
The action of spilling coffee could be compared to many of Lifes choices,its not the coffee but the action and who is held accountable
The Ripple effect could be someone Slipping.So if you dont admit to your action or hold yourself accountable someone else will and if they witnessed it and did not tell WELL they are juzt as Guilty and They now are  Part of the CRIMINAL ACT.It Turns Into A Game of Mistrust and Everyone is looking for Mistakes of others.PARANOIA OVERTAKES and no one
trusts anyone.If you were Told ti LITERALLY Stab your group member in the back to GET OUT EARLY I think some of these guys would.I Learned alot about Criminal Behavior and Gang Behavior.I learned not to trust anyone,I had to go to prison to learn how to be a criminal.

My Changed World DACC JOB

While at DACC and Throughout the System jobs were offered to allow an Inmate to earn extra Money,from a nickle just sitting on your Ass they offered jobs of 12¢,15¢,19¢,24¢ and just one (1) job
that paid 42¢.I was the only one
at DACC that landed the highest
paying job, Not Sure Why Although
I was Qualified so were many others I think. The CO’s Refered to me as The Needy One,I asked alot of Questions,Something you just dont do in prison,and even when I was told that ,I Had to ask WHY. But Out of 30 or so Guys who were interviewed I was Chosen as Maintenence Helper for the only civilian, JOHN, Nice Guy.The job  had Alot of Trust Given along with it.Keys to the Elevator and I was able to access the inner hallways
of the Sergents and Social Workers
along with access to seeing the secretary’s And also the room I refer to as the URINE ROOM,The room that did all the testing for inmates pee.Hundreds of Viles
all the colors of the rainbow.
Well many at least ,Different Meds gave Urine different colors.I heard alot of Talking as I cut through the Hallway on my way to other Floors.
The Social Workers Planning their
Tactics of Dismissal and Termination,Playing with Group Members and their Sentences.
It was all a Power Mind Game
Headed by the Queen Social Worker Who Every Inmate Feared.